Admissions Office
Apply with almost no effort.
The UGC admissions committee evaluates your ability to remain calm under absolutely unserious circumstances.
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University of Golden Capybara
Office of Extremely Relaxed Admissions
Dear Future Chill Scholar,
Congratulations. You have been accepted to UGC.
You are admitted to the Department of Chill Economics, effective immediately after one glass of water and a reasonable nap.
Your application demonstrated exceptional potential in calm decision-making, gentle chaos, and not making every hobby a productivity system.
Applicant ID
UGC-2026-CALM
Status
Accepted
Required action
Stay golden