Student Affairs
Mandatory Grass Touching Period
UGC NOTICE
Due to excessive ambition, all students must touch grass for 30 minutes.
Campus Notices
Official messages from a deeply calm institution.
Useful for daily updates, recurring jokes, and administrative nonsense that somehow feels true.
Library
Quiet Zone Expanded
UGC NOTICE
The library has extended quiet hours to include all moments before sending a risky message.
Registrar
Deadline Softening Notice
UGC NOTICE
All deadlines are still real, but they will now speak in a calmer voice.
Dining Services
Snack Diplomacy Initiative
UGC NOTICE
Students in conflict are advised to begin negotiations with fries.